Valued in God's Eyes

May I share a heart struggle with you?  I think you’ll be able to relate to my search for identity.  Identity can be perceived many ways; what kind of car you drive, how much money you make, what kind of talents you have, who your friends are.  In the end, it determines your value and affects how people see and treat you.

Unfortunately, we often base our value on how people see or treat us.  It works for a while, but people will fail eventually, leaving our identity a very fluid and vulnerable concept.  Society calls it self-worth and tries to teach us how to feel better based on our merit.  However, I fall short on my own and need something more consistent to base my identity on.  Like God’s unchanging truth.  Check it out:

*  Romans 5:8 says Christ died to make me worthy of His love!

*  Genesis 1:27 says I am made in His image.

* Psalm 139 says I am fearfully and wonderfully made and God had plans for my life before I was even born.

* Ephesians 2 says I was dead in my transgressions but Christ raised me up and I am saved by grace- praise God that I don’t have to earn it!!!

            I hope these truths speak to your heart and encourage you to rely on God more and live in the freedom and confidence of grace.  J

Being in God's will

Just a few thoughts from my journaling this morning that I wanted to share with you in hope that it will encourage you...

The feeling of resting in God's will is like that of curling up in a blanket

that wards off feelings of fear, insecurity, doubt, jealousy, and disappointment.

Like God is holding me in his arms, reminding me that nothing else the world offers

can compare to being in his warm embrace.

My friends may have husbands, houses, and kids, but I can't be jealous;

I'm where He wants me, what could be better?

My life may not look how I expected, I may feel tired of waiting,

but I can't rush it to the next season;

I'm where He wants me, what could be better?

I could get involved with so many more good things, find new people to pour into,

yet I can't strive to do more;

I'm where He wants me, what could be better?

I pray that this speaks to those of you who have felt frustrated in accepting your current circumstances.  I pray God will give you the strength to surrender and the courage to live out His will for you.  Trials and struggles may continue, but peace will come.

Great idea for fathers day cards

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5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Just Like Jonah

  For those of you unfamiliar with the story of Jonah in the Bible, I'll share a brief summary.  


  God saw that the people of Ninevah were in desperate need of repentance.  He chose Jonah to go to them and prophecy, giving them the opportunity to repent.  Jonah knew of Ninevah and their reputation and also understood that God is gracious and compassionate.  Finding them undeserving by his human wisdom, he fled God's will and went the other way.  
  
  God was displeased and sent a storm that threatened to destroy the ship.  The sailors threw Jonah into the sea, where he was swallowed by a whale before being deposited on dry land.  He was obedient this time, prophesied for three days, and the city of Ninevah turned from their evil ways.


  Yet Jonah was angry with God for saving them.  The book of Jonah ends with God questioning Jonah as to why he cared more of the death of a plant than the destruction of an entire city, and I'm not quite sure how Jonah responded.


  I find myself struggling with a similarly selfish heart.  There is a dear friend of mine who is struggling in his marriage.  I am angry with his wife for [how I perceive] the way she treats him, and have a selfish desire for him to be free of her, and for her to reap what she's sown.  I recognize that the Christlike thing to do would be to pray for her, for healing of her own deep wounds.  If I truly desire the best for him, I would desire the best for her as well, and pray for restoration and growth in their relationship.  Yet I find I am rooting against her.  As if she doesn't deserve to experience that transformation.


  God is changing my heart toward her, but this self- realization has led me to examine other relationships in my life.  Are there any other brothers or sisters in Christ that I'm rooting against?  Am I openly loving all the people God has brought into my life?  I'm trying to use 1 Corinthians 4-8 as a guide...


  "Love is patient...It does not dishonor others...it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails."


  In those situations where it's sticky trying to figure out what I should do in a relationship, my aim is to check my thoughts, words, and actions with this passage.


  Thoughts?

Boxes and Labels

  I was taking a walk with a friend the other day,  trying to verbally process my feelings.  I felt like my life was a messy suitcase which, no matter how I arranged it would still weigh just as much.  He noted that perhaps, in the unpacking, there could be a way to put things in boxes and to neatly label them.  What an amazing concept!  (Keep in mind I organize as part of my living- label makers are my best friend!)   Interestingly, I now realize how accurate a depiction of my thought processing this whole labeling thing is.


     My intellectual life is mostly in neat little boxes.  Behavior is good or bad, motivations are selfish or self- serving, there is a right way to do things, and black and white answers are to be found for most questions.   There is a box for things I need to think about now, and a box of things I can think about later.  There is a box for platonic opposite sex relationships and a box for romantic opposite sex relationships.  What is appropriate behavior in friendships is determined by which box the friend falls into, and one cannot simultaneously fall into both boxes.


     But so often in life, I come across things that don't fit into my boxes.  Like someone who professes to be a Christian and lives a homosexual lifestyle.  Or someone who has been seeking God their whole life but still hasn't met Jesus Christ.  I believe in the absolute truth of the Bible, but sometimes it's hard to understand how it applies to my relationships and how I see the world.


     And so I am constantly wrestling; there is always something that doesn't fit in the box.  I have to know where everything goes so I know what to do, how to act.  On one hand, I feel kind of crazy; perhaps I am just a control freak that needs to let it go.  But on the other hand, I kind of wonder why it seems everyone else lets their thoughts and actions go unchecked, their motivations unexamined.  Perhaps they are content with being the person they are and allowing their actions to flow out of that state of being?


     I'd be interested in your thoughts. :-)

Lessons from a man after God's own heart

Over the last year, I've been stretched out of my comfort zone, forcing me to trust in God's provision.  I've trusted God for living situations, relationships, a church family, community, finances, employment, and direction.   Each time something changed, it became more natural to trust God.


However, in going through this so many times, I've become complacent.  It's as if I'm too exhausted to feel the weight of my circumstance, or consider the possible negative outcomes, so I just throw it out there for God to take care of.  Sadly, this "throwing it out there" often neglects time in the Word or in prayer.


This morning I was studying the Psalms and seeing how David handled distress.  What a great example!  Here is a man who was in close relationship with God, had been taken care of time and again, who placed his trust solely in God's word.  Yet his response to trial was not, "God, I'm just trusting You've got this taken care of, so I'm not going to think about it."  He PLEADED and CRIED OUT for the Lord's intervention.  In Psalm 119:147, he writes,



"I rise before dawn and cry for help, I have put my hope in Your word."


I'm re-examining my attitude now.  Am I really seeking God's hand?  Am I really asking for help?  Or am I casually mentioning requests in my prayers on occasion and trusting that God will hear me once and git er done?

Thoughts from the park

Today, this park is my sanctuary.  This rock, covered in a thick cushion of soft moss, is far more comfortable than any chair I could sit in.  My roof is a thick canopy of green foliage shielding me from the heat of this August afternoon.  Yet, at the same time, it allows the sunlight to peek through and brush me with its fingers.


The waterfall pushes out the noises; the sound of people, the voices of worry in my mind.  Even the sound of the birds is drowned out by the powerful roar.  This waterfall spreads out before me, continuing down as a smooth, clear stream.  Rolling, rolling, rolling on through the park.


I imagine that I am a little girl sitting on the edge of the rock, swinging her feet.  I pick the petals off a flower one by one, dropping them into the water below, letting them drift away with all my worries.


The ferns remind me of Dad and I am happy to be experiencing the place he grew up.  I hope it shapes me like it did him.


What a luxury to sit here, watching leaves gently float through the air to touch the water and continue their journey downstream.  The flow cascades through my heart and soul, washing away my anxiety.  How silly I was to bring my backpack full of things to deal with, decisions to be made, answers to be found.  How foolish to think I would turn this haven into a center of productivity.


To think that God made this beautiful place for us to enjoy and I've ignored it for so long!  Such a glimpse of who He is.  Beauty, majesty, power, healing, calming.  I think of seasons and how nature never resists the change.  Snow is not jealous of summer's warm beaches, spring does not envy the colors of autumn.  Crops do not become frustrated that they are not ready before harvest.  Perhaps this forest has some things to teach me.


God led me to Psalm 1:1-3, which says, "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.  Whatever he does prospers."