Lately I've been finding God challenging me to trust Him more in every area of life. He wants all of us as believers to find our security in His provision more than our own abilities. I find when I'm in need I turn to God out of necessity, but as soon as He comes through I cling to the provision instead of the provider. I'm learning to hold things a little more loosely, and He's helping me out by allowing me more opportunities to practice.
Like most people out there, I've worried about employment. I've worried about finding the right job, getting health insurance, making enough money, utilizing my strengths in the best way possible...even while I've been working I've been worrying. I felt God moving me to trust in Him to provide, not relying on my human ability to produce a paycheck. So I said, God, I'm surrendering my job to You. I trust that if You move me into something new, it is for a good reason, and You know where we're going. I know I can't see what's next, so I'm trusting You to provide. I feel You're asking me to lay my job down on the altar, like you did with Abraham and Isaac.
So I laid it down on the altar. But honestly, I was doing it with the expectation that my story would turn out the same, that God would see my heart and spare my job. But that's not how it worked. Today at 5:30 I was informed I am not expected to return to work on Monday. Ouch. I felt I was doing a good job and improving in the areas that needed work, so it came as a surprise.
So emotionally right now, I'm overwhelmed, I'm scared, I'm disappointed, and I could use a big hug and a lot of chocolate. Spiritually, I feel I'm being stretched, far beyond my comfort zone, but I know I'm going to come out stronger. I know God's teaching me to have more faith and courage. It's not comfortable to learn these things, but at least I know God is good and He has a plan in all this.
On a more upbeat note- my other Isaac was my living situation. I'd found a great house with a great roommate, but it looked like we weren't going to be able to get it. So I laid it down on the altar and said God, I really really want this house and I feel You've provided it for me. However, if it doesn't work out I'm going to trust that You've got a better place in mind. Know what happened? We got it! We're almost halfway moved in and plan on being all the way in by Sunday!!!! Yea!
I'm looking forward to spending a week with my family in Minnesota for Christmas. I hope all of you have a wonderful time with friends and family, remembering all that God's done for you this year, and looking forward to a new year with new lessons and blessings to come!!!
2 comments:
Nikki! I am stoked about the fact that despite all of life's arrows, you turn to God and your faith in Him. You are continually positive, a constant light that is surely missed here, yet not even the distance can dim.
yeah nikki- you sound like you are doing great! I am super excited. You should come by small group sometime and visit! I am really glad that you are doing so well... where exactly are you living??
Post a Comment